Thursday, 29 November 2012

New Boots January 20th, 2012

January 20th, 2012

I left you on a three bag day.

I was so focused on Wednesday that it was a surprise to find out that I had managed to loose Thursday as my tight grip on reality slips. I usually run the garbage sacks to the end of the drive at the crack of dawn, but somehow managed to restrain myself. I was very mixed up, as the church down the that feeds the poor had not put their usually huge pile, out. They were having a funeral and I guess it was to be nice for the bereaved. Arriving to a mammoth pile of rubbish would be a little distressing

My neighbours were on their way to the airport, but I confirmed with them just what day of the week it was with them, to make sure.  We exchanged pleasantries while they explained they were on their way to New Orleans, another place I would love to go, Hong Kong too. They have had four holidays this year, note the date. . My horoscope this morning told me to “tighten my belt I was living outside my means.” This is information? What about love? Romance, money? No I get fasten up the road is coming to meet you soon.

My Canadian equivalent of flips flops broke yesterday,. No matter how much glue and silicone I put on the boots they were dead.  The only thing that was protecting me from the great outdoors were my socks. They were recycled into the blue bag at the end of the lane, which then meant a replacement pair that I dug out.

The pair I purchased in the States were lugged up the staircase and I had a Cinderella moment.   I thought that they were going to be like hiking boots. However they have steel bars in them. Good for walking in hostile territories. Not so good to go thru airport security. They are heavy. They are seriously heavy, which when I bought them did not really matter as I had the energy to lift them.  They claimed to be waterproof and they do however keep my feet on the ground. Not that my flying around, outside of hysteria, has been a problem.  With my hips held on my mere tendons I went for the daily walk.

Let me tell you why this was a feat of endurance. Let me give also give you the details as to what a Spiderman push up is. In a regular mans world it is where you lift yourself off the ground with your hands, balanced on your toes, while in a supine position. Usually yelling at the trainer an obscenity or two.  The Spiderman version is where by you lift one leg  and take your knee to elbow while doing that do a push up. We did this station several times along with the other superhero part of the workout was jumping on the half ball thing. This I am told  is supposed to make your stabilisers work.  I found out those babies run down the back of your leg and over your heels. We also threw balls against the wall sitting down, for some reason aside from mind boggling fatigue.  While in the plank position, similar to a push up but this time we got to haul on a giant elastic while keeping your hip level to the ground. I managed to get home and not exterminate the guest I told you about.  There was no difficulty sleeping.
Off! Soon after turning the computer I went to take back library books and managed to take one I had not read and leave one I had.  Lucy loves the library, as she is the only dog allowed in, for pets from all the patrons. I exchanged books while people asked questions like “how old she was, can I pet her,  and they had a golden too that died.” Lucy thinks that there will be liver treats, as she got many when she got her shots and looks very pretty. Attracting even more patrons.  The only reason we get out of our rock star status is the walk awaits. The only time that dog pulls now, is down the stairs at the library.

Back to the steel shanks. I could barely get my feet off the ground. Other women would have this sexy walk thing going on I am sure, but I look like Yogi the Bear ambling down the road. We  mosey the circuit, while answering calls from telemarketers, whose introduction is a horn blowing in your ear. Because you have answered the phone at that time they call at that time all the time. I do not have call display so I usually answer it. My mother no longer takes offence when I hang up on her, but she usually get the weather report from MontrĂ©al before I do.

As we are struggling along, well I am, the dog is happy, happy. I notice in the distance a man who is practicing martial arts, not the gentle tai chi stuff, but the real deal. I who has taken exactly one session a month from May to September  while at outdoor boot camp. I can recognise a fighting stance on a tall skinny man dressed in fatigues. Yup.  He is prancing all over the place, and I cannot lift my feet. Lucy gets leashed and we managed to get by his boot camp of thermos and jackets. He smiles and says “hello.’

After Lucy pulls the burrs from her coat I vacuum again and run a towel around the paw prints on the kitchen floor.  I go to get some new boots and find a sale at the soon to close Canadian store where I have a billion reward points.  I find a sale of foamies that the guest from “H-E double toothpicks” as my mother would say, recommended AND they were on sale. One stack at 40% and another at 50%  and somehow I won! So now I had to get it and will put it on a bed upstairs. That means that I have to tear the bed apart and clean the whole thing, but really what else is there in life to do? Solvitur ambulando, St. Jerome was fond of saying. To solve a problem, walk around. ~Gregory McNamee

Big hugs as a bug hug today would be too hard.



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